My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
