i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
