you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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