It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
