life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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