Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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