ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
