A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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