She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
