Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
