She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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