I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
