What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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