Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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