Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
