She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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