So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
