you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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