I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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