The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
