I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
