have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
