you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
