I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
