if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
