I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
