Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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