I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
