i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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