Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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