The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
