Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
