do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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