what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
