He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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