so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
3pm strippers are depressing
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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