I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
