im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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