yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
