I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
