Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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