Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
