What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
True strength comes from lack of pants
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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