is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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