It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
