i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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