Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
