About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This is the high leading the old right now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
