i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
