I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
