i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just want to make out with him forever
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
