there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I licked your asshole in confidence.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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