I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
