So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
now i know why i became what i already was.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
