He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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