i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
thus making me awesome and them whores
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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