Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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