May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
