It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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